Ah, the elusive concept of babies sleeping through the night! If you’re a new parent or soon-to-be parent, you’ve probably heard countless horror stories about sleepless nights and wondered when that magical moment will arrive when your little one finally lets you catch some Z’s. Well, let’s get real here. While every baby is unique and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, I’m here to share some insights on when babies typically start sleeping through the night. Spoiler alert: it might not be as soon as you’d hope, but there’s light at the end of the sleep-deprived tunnel.
The Early Days
First off, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: newborns are not exactly known for their stellar sleep patterns. In fact, they’re more like tiny nocturnal creatures who love to party when the world is supposed to be asleep. Those early days with a newborn can be a blur of feeding, nappy changes, and long long lonnnnng sleepless nights. So, when do babies start sleeping through the night, and what’s a realistic expectation during those first few months?
For most newborns, it’s entirely normal to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed. That’s because their tiny tummies can only hold a small amount of milk so the frequent feeds are needed to stack on that weight. So, if you find yourself wondering why your little one is treating nighttime like daytime, take solace in the fact that you’re not alone. This phase is temporary, even if it doesn’t feel like it at 3 a.m.
Please understand that if your baby is consistently unsettled during awake windows (and sleep is barely existent), you’re best to seek some medical advice. Don’t sit on this longer than you need to!
The Three-Month Mark
Around the three-month mark, you might start noticing some changes in your baby’s sleep patterns. This is when many babies begin to sleep for longer stretches at night. Hooray! But before you start celebrating too soon, remember that “sleeping through the night” for a baby doesn’t necessarily mean a solid eight+ hour stretch like we adults enjoy.
For babies, sleeping through the night often means a 4-6 hour stretch without waking up, sometimes longer. While this might not sound like a full night’s sleep, it’s a huge improvement from those newborn days right!
The Four-to-Six-Month Window
The 4-month sleep regression can hit some much harder than others. This is where your littlest love’s sleep cycles begin to mature and become more adult-like. This change can be a doozy for some parents! But it really shouldn’t last longer than a few weeks, so if you’re still months down the track with inconsistent overnight sleep, there’s likely some tweaking that needs to be done. Some parents will find that their little one starts consistently sleeping for longer periods between by six months – baby sleep jackpot!
It’s important to remember that not every night will be smooth sailing. Teething, growth spurts, and other developmental milestones can still throw a curveball into your sleep routine. But overall, you’ll likely notice a gradual improvement in your baby’s ability to sleep through the night.
The Not-So-Sweet Reality
Just when you think you’ve cracked the code and your baby is sleeping like a champ, be prepared for some sleep regressions. These can occur at various stages of development and are like a cosmic joke played on exhausted parents. SOS!
After that 4-month sleep regression comes the 6-month regression, followed closely by the 8-10 month regression, 12-month, 18-month and 2 year – hectic, we know! These regressions are generally contributed to by big bursts in development and separation anxiety. Again, there are phases and will pass!
Setting Realistic Expectations
Now that we’ve covered the general timeline of when babies start sleeping through the night let’s talk about setting realistic expectations. EVERY baby is unique, so unfortunately there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to when your little one will nail those nights.
Some babies may start sleeping through the night at three months, while others might take a bit longer. And that’s perfectly okay. It’s crucial to remember that sleep development is just as individual as any other aspect of your baby’s growth but that doesn’t mean that wakes over 3-4 times a night are biologically normal (and we’re talking the party for hours, can’t settle back to sleep, hysterics here!). This is usually an indication that something is getting in the way… sleep associations, sleep hygiene, nutrient deficiencies or the balance of day/night sleep is out of whack. Don’t get guessing, this is what we’re here for!
Tips for (Somewhat) Improved Sleep
While you can’t force your baby to sleep through the night, there are some strategies you can try to encourage better sleep for everyone:
Establish a bedtime routine: Create a calming bedtime routine that signals to your baby that it’s time to wind down. This can include activities like a warm bath, a bedtime story, or gentle lullabies.
Consistent sleep environment: Ensure your baby’s sleep environment is comfortable and safe. A dark, quiet room with a comfortable crib can make a significant difference.
Teach self-settling: Encourage your baby to learn how to settle with increasing independence. This can involve letting them fuss for a few minutes before rushing in to comfort them, sometimes they’re not really awake but when we get in there super quick we can wake them! There are MANY ways you can support your little one towards self-settling, none of which requires leaving your baby to cry alone!
Daytime routine: Keep a consistent daytime routine with regular naps and feeds. A well-rested baby is more likely to sleep better at night.
Avoid overstimulation: Try to limit stimulating activities close to bedtime (this includes screen time, for all ages!) Overstimulated babies can have a harder time settling down, they have to be in a parasympathetic nervous system state to achieve sleep!
Stay patient and flexible: Remember that sleep regressions and setbacks are entirely normal. Be patient with your baby and yourself, and be flexible in your approach to sleep.
So, when do babies start sleeping through the night? The truth is, there’s no definitive answer. Your baby’s sleep journey is as unique as they are and as unique as your family is! You’ll experience sleepless nights, setbacks, and moments of pure exhaustion, but you’ll also never have more love in your heard and excitement over your baby’s growth and development! It’s like nothing else in this world!
In the midst of these sleepless nights, know you’re not alone, and you’re doing an incredible job as a parent. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Eventually, your baby will start sleeping through the night more consistently, and you’ll look back on these sleep-deprived days with a mix of nostalgia and relief.
Until then, coffee and solidarity with fellow sleep-deprived parents will be your trusted companions. Sweet dreams!